Snippets, Scraps, and Sloths
by interdimensionalmeatpie
Summary: Collections of fluff, one shots, and hilarious stories on the many inhabitants of Beacon Academy. And humor, of course. Lots of humor to make you smile, all in 1500 words or less. Also with plenty of Renora.
1. Exist-Ren-tial Crisis

_Happy New Year, Y'all's!_

 _What better way to start off a new year with than some drabble? Yes, you know you want some._

 _I'm planning to make this a decently long series of drabbles and one shots and fluff. Got any ideas, I'll be more than happy to try and make them reality. But for now, sit down, strap in, and read. And be happy of course, distract yourself from the current Yangst arc, and smile. (*growls at Miles and Kerry*)_

* * *

"Ren? Why are things things?"

The orange haired girl looked over to her friend with a curious expression, one that he returned with a bemused smirk. It wasn't the first time Ren had heard such… odd discourses from Nora, but then again, he found them to be quite… engaging.

When he could understand them, of course.

"Why are things…things?"

"Yeah, Ren, why does this have to be that? Or that have to be that?"

"Nora, I'm still not quite-"

"It's weird, right? How a Grimm has to be called a Grimm? Why did that happen, I meant why does everything have to be called what they are? Like I mean you could call a Grimm a potato and it wouldn't really change anything at all." Nora frowned, looking up at the sky, watching the snow swirl down in graceful loops and twirls. "Weird," she continued, "Everything has to be so _boring_ and stuck in one way of thinking and it's just so… _vanilla_ , you know, Ren? Like I'm stuck being _Nora_ for the rest of my life, why can't I be Ren or Ruby or Monty or something? And you could be Nora and Blake and whatever you wanted to be and it wouldn't be weird or anything… But Ren? Why does it have to be so weird when people wanna be weird like that?"

All the while Ren was watching her prattle on, an eyebrow raised in intrigue. Yeah, why did things have to be so rigid? So… as Nora put it… " _Vanilla_ …"

"Nora, I think it would be rather hard to-"

Nora continued on, oblivious to Ren's interjection, a faraway look in her eyes. "Words are weird, right Renny? Like we need them to tell what things are but without whatever they have to go and give meaning too they just don't mean anything… like pancakes, it would be just sound and gibberish without pancakes and everything… Not like pancakes would ever not exist, right Renny?" She giggled and jabbed him lightly in the side. "Well as long as you're around, I'm confident we won't _ever_ run out of pancakes." She laughed heartily and poked him on the nose. "Boop."

Ren smiled at the touch and reached over to her, ruffling her hair. Outwardly he was grinning, but inwardly… wow. That was quite a darn good point.

The pair walked on a while longer in silence, the drifting snow fluttering away as they made their way forth.

"Nora," he began, "If words don't have to stay the same, why do real life things have to stay the same exact thing?"

She thought a moment, and piped up enthusiastically, twittering with laughter. "Because that would just be really hard to do, silly! How could I ever turn Magnhild into a plate of pancakes whenever I get hungry and the plate back into Magnhild when I'm done? But…" She trailed off momentarily, lost in thought. "But… Huh, maybe I wouldn't have to be stuck as a human, not like I don't like being one. Now that I think about it, it would actually be really cool if I could turn into a sloth and just cling to my pancake tree all day!" With that, she flung herself at Ren, wrapping her arms around him and knocking her highly unprepared partner into the snow. "Oops."

Picking himself up and brushing himself off, Ren chuckled as he struggled to his feet, his pseudo-slothy partner still clinging to him like her favorite fuzzy critter on a branch.

"Nora, I _really_ don't think sloths attack pancake trees like that."

"Only when the pancakes are _sooooooo_ wonderfully delicious," she sang.


	2. Why Are We Here?

_EMERGENCY ARKOS FLUFF_

 _For those who have seen the fiasco that was S3E8... Well it's a little something to take your minds off thing and ease your frayed nerves... For those who haven't... just enjoy the ride... And for those, those who just hate Mercury..._

 _I_ maaaaaay _have borrowed the opening dialogue from Red Vs Blue. (Yeah. Sure, whatever, I borrowed it.) But let the record show I do not own RvB, RWBY, or any other Rooster Teeth derivatives. I just wanted to adapt the famous "Why Are We Here" thingy to RWBY. So please don't hurt me. Don't hurt me._

No more.

 _In any case, enjoy! And thank you, Monty, again._

* * *

Vale had a decently temperate climate; not too hot, not too cold. It usually was lush and green, an idyllic landscape, really. However, the farther southeast one went, closer to the sea separating the land from Mistral, it would begin to grow warmer, eventually culminating in the arid coastal badlands past the ruins of Mountain Glenn, where dry winds whipped through canyons carved by wind and water and time, and speckled with dots of black and white.

Such a desolate, uncolonized place normally wouldn't be welcoming to the creatures of darkness. Some, like Beacon's Professor Port, have theorized that this area was a Grimm breeding ground, but no substantial evidence has been unearthed to prove the fact.

Alas, these concerns lay secondary to the fact that the population of Grimm in Mountain Glenn would be constantly replenished by the massive influx of their brethren from this area. For every Ursa or Beowolf falling to Hunters or the Atlesian fleet, another would take its place.

And nobody knew why.

Well, nobody that lived, however.

Forays were made in order to facilitate study of the Grimm, with bases and reconnaissance posts being built along the eastern borders, only to fall under consistent attack. In such a parched climate, under the constant shadow of the fiends, it was no small wonder that these besieged installations remained viable.

It was even more intriguing that some of these bases were used as training grounds for junior Hunters.

One of these bases had come under attack in recent days, though; a listening post in a box canyon had come under attack, spurring the scientists to retreat to a fallback bunker on the other side of the canyon, where the supply ships would evacuate them. As a field study project, a team of junior Hunters had been sent from Beacon to retake the canyon.

* * *

The wind whipped through the canyon, kicking up swirls of dust that obscured two students and their Huntress escort making their way to one end of the canyon to drive off the Grimm, while the other two members of the team watched from their position back at the bunker at the other, keeping watch for stragglers that dared to slip away.

Jaune sighed. Guard duty, again, while Ren and Nora and Professor Goodwitch went out to kick the spit out of some Grimm.

 _Ah well. At least Pyrrha was here with him_.

Speaking of which…

His friend stood beside him, keeping watch over the canyon. Jaune could tell she was decently bored as well, as every now and then she would sigh, shift from foot to foot, and once when she thought he wasn't looking, casually tossed her spear into the air and summoned it back with her Semblance like a one man game of Frisbee.

"Hey Pyrrha."

"Yeah?"

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

Pyrrha looked over, intrigued by his sudden prompt. Frowning as she thought, she spoke up, regarding him with interest.

"It's one of life's greatest mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here?" She crossed her arms and looked off far into the sky, letting her mind peruse the great beyond. "I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is the really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us… and stuff… I don't know, Jaune, but it keeps me up at night…" She trailed off slowly, ending with a noncommittal shrug and letting her gaze fall back to the canyon.

Jaune turned to her with a bemused chuckle. " _What?_ I mean why are we out here, in this canyon?"

"Oh…. Uhhhh…. _Yeah_." Pyrrha looked down, a little sheepish.

"What was all that stuff about God?"

"Hmm? Nothing…"

The pair stood in silence a moment, one with an expression of contemplation, the other with her cheeks going slightly red with embarrassment.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jaune quipped up.

" _Nope,_ " came a quick (and he could swear a little nervous) reply. Eager to break the sudden aura of awkwardness that had drifted over the vicinity like a cloud of dust, Jaune changed the subject.

"Seriously though… why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere, no way in or out…"

" _Mmhmm_ …" Pyrrha made a thoughtful sound of agreement, prompting him to continue.

"The only reason we've camped out here is because the Grimm have that bunker over there, and the only reason they have that base over there is because we have our base here. And Vale way back there," he added as an afterthought.

"Yes… because we're fighting each other," Pyrrha said quizzically, not quite getting the point.

"But even if we were to pull out today, and the Grimm would come take our base, they would have _two_ bases in the middle of a box canyon. _Whoo,_ " Jaune cheered sarcastically.

His partner laughed. "I'll have to admit, this is pretty ridiculous when you put it all in perspective. I signed up to protect others. Next thing I know, Team RWBY blows up half of Mountain Glenn, and now we're stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of Grimm. _Who would have known_?"

* * *

On the bluff above, rocks clattered down as another boy and girl watched from their vantage point, the latter focusing on Pyrrha with a set of binoculars. The girl, calm focusing intently, was a clear contrast to her partner, restlessly ambling about and occasionally nudging pebbles off the cliff.

"What are they doing?" Mercury knelt next to Emerald, looking down at the two junior Hunters on guard.

"Mercury, I will _seriously_ pay you to _shut up. Again._ "

With a huff, Mercury stood back up, and resumed his pointless pacing. There they remained for a grand total of another five minutes until he decided to speak up again.

"What are they doing now?"

Emerald slammed down the binoculars with a growl of annoyance and whirled around to face her partner.

"Mercury, I'm getting _so sick of answering that question!"_

Raising his hands in surrender, Mercury backed up a couple steps, on the defensive from the sudden outburst. "Hey hey, you have the binoculars, I can barely see anything. Don't start giving me crap, because I'm not just gonna sit up here and mess with my d-"

With a sigh of resignation at her partner's shenanigans, Emerald placed a hand on her forehead and shook her head slowly. "Look, Merc, they're just standing there and talking. That's all they're doing. That's all they've _ever_ done today, that's what they're gonna do until the Grimm are cleared out, that's what they were doing when you asked me _five. Freaking. Minutes. Ago,"_ she groused, ire seeping into her voice. "So five minutes from _now_ , when you ask me again, _Mercury_ , what they're doing, my answer's gonna be, 'They're still just talking and they're still only standing there.'" With that, Emerald stalked back over to the cliff edge, grabbed her binoculars, and resumed her observation.

Mercury, resuming his rounds of pacing, yawned unnecessarily loudly, and shuffled back over to Emerald. "What are they talking about?"

Slamming the binoculars down hard enough to crack a lens, Emerald stiffened and hissed. " _You know what, Mercury?"_

" _Yeeeees_?" Mercury bent down next to her, letting a trace of cockiness into his voice to complement his smirk.

" _I hate you."_

And with that, she shot out a foot to catch the unprepared Mercury between the legs, sending him toppling over with a squeal.

 _Finally. Thought he'd never shut up._

* * *

 _YAAAAAAAAAS BBY KICK HIM IN THE DICK._

 _*regains composure* Oh. Yeah. *ahem*_

 _Welllllllllllllll I hope you enjoyed it._

 _And now to climb back into my manhole of Yangst and despair... ;_; (RT why do you do this to us...)_

 _Thanks,_

 _i-Pie_


	3. Kitchen Nightmares

_Presenting an idea by dancingnewsnerds on Tumblr, I bring you more Renora fluff. Fluffy fluffiness that belongs in fluffy pillows._

 _But alas. Ren and Nora watch a cooking show, and Ren, being the expert chef he is, has his blood pressure rise by a few_ _t̶h̶o̶u̶s̶a̶n̶d̶ points._

 _Enjoy!_

 _And as always, thank you, Monty._

* * *

"Ren! Ren! _Reeeeeen!_ Let's watch TV!"

"Yes."

"Oooh! Oooh! How about _Worst Cooks of Mistral_?"

"…no."

And there they sat, the bouncy pink ball of energy wearing a hole into her bed with each bounce, her dark haired counterpart staring back with an expression of apprehension.

"But why nooooooot? Come on, Ren, you love cooking shows," Nora pouted. "You think they're absolutely super-duper amazing!"

"Nora, the last time we watched _Worst Cooks_ you got mad and threw the TV out of the window."

"In my defense, they set literally the entire stack of pancakes on fire. Twice. Which, in this kingdom, is an absolutely heinous crime the likes of which will not be tolerated by the queen!"

"You still put Cardin Winchester in the hospital with that stunt."

"He deserved it."

Which Ren had to admit, was kinda true. Between bullying every other thing that moved, blackmailing Jaune and forcibly converting Nora's favorite (albeit faulty) vending machine into a block of metal swiss cheese in a fit of rage, Ren had to agree. Cardin did deserve half the stuff he had coming to him. But still, in _this_ particular kingdom, lightning always seemed to strike twice.

"Come on, Nora," he beckoned, "let's watch something else. How about _Greg's Monotony_?"

"Hmmmm….. _Worst Cooks?"_

"What about _X-Ray and Vav,"_ Ren countered.

"What about _Worst Cooks?"_

"Er…. _Downton Fappy?"_

"Stop hanging out with Blake! She's poisoning your mind!" Nora cackled at Ren's insane suggestion, before quickly sobering up and offering a counter-suggestion, complete with puppy eyes.

"Renny? Pleeeease? _Worst Cooks of Mistral?"_

 _Sigh._

"Nora, you know I'm scared to watch it again with you. Plus those people on the show can be so dense."

"That's why it's funny!"

"…"

"Boooooo- _ring!"_ Nora leapt at Ren, tackling him over and poking him playfully in the sides, screaming with laughter as Ren yelped in surprise.

" _Nora! Aaaah- Stop!"_ Ren cried out in surprise, involuntarily laughing as the girl's fingers dug into his sides. " _I'll watch- just- stop- tickling!"_

"Promise?"

 _"YES!"_

"Good!" Nora hopped off of her partner, leaving him to mourn his ravaged sides as she skipped gaily towards the kitchenette, singing merrily about popcorn.

" _Gahhhhhh…. Ow…"_

Nora galloped on back with an enormous bowl of cheesy popcorn, pausing to pelt some off of Ren's head. "Wake up sleepyhead! It's time to watch TV!"

 _"One second… just let me die in peace…"_

She popped down next to him and flipped on the TV, oblivious as Ren looked up and attempted to sneak a finger onto her side as a little revenge.

"Oooh! I wonder who Chef Ramses is gonna yell at tod- _AAAAAY!"_

" _This week, on Worst Cooks of Mistral… our secret ingredients will be: Chicken! Kale! AAAaaaaaaAAND MUSTARD!"_

"WHEEEEE!"

Nora had leaped from the couch, cheering as the mystery ingredients were read out. Ren looked on in amused bemusement.

"Nora, you don't even like mustard."

"Oh boy, but it's gonna get Chef Ramses to yell at them! And they can't mess up by making pancakes out of that kale stuff either, it's absolutely impossible!"

"It's not. You threw up a perfectly good kale pancake all over Jaune that time."

"That was a _pancake?_ "

"…"

"Hel- _lo!_ Renny! You there?" She tapped on his forehead playfully as he pulled back, smiling that little half-smile so typical of him.

"Yes Nora… I'm alive. And watching, as long as you agree not to break the TV."

"Lame."

They turned their attention back to the television set as a chunky man who would have looked more at home on the battlefield ambled slowly onto the screen, carrying an armload of chicken, proceeding to dump it into a colander at his station. Ren watched as a thigh bounced off the rim of the colander, splatting onto the floor. The man then stooped down, grabbing the cut of meat and wiping it on his apron before casually tossing it with the rest of the chicken.

Nora looked over at Ren, currently staring with mouth agape. She giggled as Ren turned indignantly to her, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"Oh come _on_ Ren, he's heard of the 3 second rule."

" _Nora_ ," he sighed, "should I be afraid to let you cook from now on?"

" _Maaaaaaaaaaaybe._ " She leaned over and snuggled up close to him, smiling ingratiatingly up as his thoroughly unconvinced face. "But I'll leave the pancakes up to you."

"I'm fine with that." He let out a slow breath and allowed himself a small smile as he pulled his partner close and slid his arm around her.

 _Might as well get comfy if I'm for the long run. Nora'll love it too._

She let out a content sigh as Ren pulled her in close, gently ruffling her hair, absentmindedly running his fingers through her ginger locks.

Ah, the perks of watching television with her Renny.

She felt her eyes begin to droop as she buried her face deeper in his shoulder, cuddling close to her partner as he suddenly hissed at the TV-

"How much salt do you _need!?"_

Nora's eyes snapped back open as she turned towards the TV, as Chef Ramses screamed at one of the contestants, shrinking back under his onslaught with the empty husk of a salt shaker in his hand.

"Nora, can you believe it? First he doesn't use fresh chicken in his paella, now he dumps the entire thing of salt onto the dish. There are things that are okay, and there are things that are not-

"Ren?"

"Yes Nora?

" _Shhhhhhhhhh_. You're my big slothy pillow. You shouldn't get all keyed up, lest you provoke the wrath of Mad Queen Nora."

"But _-"_

" _Hisssssssssssssss."_

With that, Nora promptly plopped her head back onto Ren's shoulder, giggling as Chef Ramses continued to lay into the poor unfortunate (and according to Ren, idiotic) contestant.

"Nora? Why do you enjoy torturing me so?"

"Hmmmm what do you mean?"

The two of them had watched as Chef Ramses had gone ballistic on multiple occasions, finally culminating in a spit-filled explosion as he immediately disqualified a contestant he had caught licking a spoon. To his credit, Ren had stayed (mostly) silent for most of the show, allowing Nora to snuggle against him in peace, broken by her occasional fit of laughter as contestants failed spectacularly.

"Why do you want me to watch stuff like this? It hurts me inside."

"Because." Nora reached up to poke Ren's nose, eliciting a smile from her normally stoic partner. "You're comfy."

"You don't need this stuff to do that. All you could do is just ask me to watch TV."

"Hmmmm." Nora thought it over momentarily. " _Nope,"_ she twittered. "It makes me feel better about my cooking."

"Nora, you're doing just fine, but it seems like all you want to make are pancakes."

"But I wanted to try crème brulee."

"Nora, need I remind you it involves using a blowtorch?"

"It shouldn't be a problem, should it?"

 _"Remember what happened with Jaune?"_

"He lived. Oh come _oooooon,"_ Nora groused. "I'll be safe with it this time."

"Nora, no."

"Nora, _yes._ "

"But what if something happens again-" Ren stopped abruptly off mid-sentence, his eyes wideneing in shock.

No.

 _No._

 _NO!_

 _The contestant, in his infinite wisdom, had thrown the hastily chopped chicken into the bowl of kale, emptied a bottle of dressing into it, and proceeded to take the mixture and-._

Ren could understand that not all people could do things right, like haphazardly mangling cuts of meat, or over-seasoning food, or even using frozen versus fresh.

But _this._

Ren shot to his feet with a start, bowl of popcorn in hand, finger raised at the television, death in his eyes.

" _YOU DON'T MICROWAVE A SALAD, YOU DONUT!"_

Nora couldn't believe it.

Ren had rose to his feet, popcorn bowl in hand, glowing bright pink as he had channeled his Aura into the object and _hurled it into the TV, blowing it to bits._

Nora had leapt back, shielding herself with her arms as flaming bits of popcorn shot across the room, bouncing off the walls and even cracking the window.

The both of them stared, speechless, as the remains of the television crackled weakly.

Nora didn't know what to do, not in the slightest. It wasn't like Ren, not at all.

 _Oh Dust._

 _That…_

 _That… was…_

 _THAT WAS AWESOME!_

Nora leapt from her chair, whooping with delight as Ren, devoid of color, began to stumble backwards, hand over mouth in shock. She tossed herself at him, wrapping her arms around him with a squeal of delight, and inadvertently knocking him off his feet and back onto the couch.

" _Ren! Let's do it again!"_


	4. Smart Technology, Part 1

_Alas, creative ruts are no fun. But plenty of LOTR soundtrack pieces will provide some degree of motivation._

 _But alas._

 _(Alive) Penny fluff will make you happy._

 _Based on an idea by otaku-tribe._

* * *

"Ruby! _Rub_ y! Come quick!"

Penny's panicked voice rang through the library, causing quite a few heads to turn in surprise and annoyance. Ruby Rose looked up from the weaponry catalogue she had been flipping through, dropping it and rushing towards the sound of her friend's alarmed cry.

 _Oh no. Did her arm fall off again?_

Indeed, Penny's robot body had been quite... temperamental, as of late. Ruby had spent countless hours piecing her back together after the incident at the Vytal Festival, and although she was 99% sure (well, 90% now) that Penny was completely fixed, accidents did happen.

Although the both of them did find it quite funny the time when Weiss leapt out of her seat in horror when Penny's arm spontaneously detached in the middle of Oobleck's class. It was also a relatively easy fix, as compared to the heiress's frayed nerves.

She suppressed an involuntary snort as she darted over to Penny, leaving papers flying and students scowling in her wake. She skidded to a stop before a bank of computer terminals, with Penny turning to regard her with a look of distress.

"Penny? What's wrong? Do you need me to fix your arm again?"

"No, friend Ruby, I-"

" _Your legs? Your processors? Your-_ "

Penny giggled. "Thank you very much Ruby! But I assure you, I am one-hundred percent combat ready!" With that, Ruby allowed herself to relax and sigh in relief.

"Ooh. Thank Dust. Weiss was not in a good mood today, I don't think we'd want the incident with your arm to happen again."

"The one in class?"

"Yeah, that. Either that… or the… um, _helicopter incident_."

Penny shrugged. "I landed eventually. I was all safe. But I had so many wonderful photos from being up so high!" A sly grin crept across her face as she leaned closer to her friend. "Actually, I was hoping if I could do that again."

"Penny, that's dangerous."

"But-"

" _Let's totally do it again someday_."

Penny's gleeful smile grew as she threw herself at Ruby, smothering the girl in a (customarily) overenthusiastic hug. "Oh, Ruby! You are the best!"

" _Penny… you're killing me…"_

"Oh!" She loosened her grip on Ruby, allowing her to drop to the floor in a spluttering heap. "I'm sorry, but you are my best friend whom I love very much, and I have much to be thankful for!"

" _Uhhhhhgh. I love you too. But your hugs are more lethal than Yang's_."

Penny looked shocked. "Oh no, Ruby, my scans have shown that your sister's embraces have a near-lethal compression force of over nine thousand-"

"Don't worry, I'm fine. For now." Ruby slowly picked herself up off the ground, giving Penny a conciliatory pat on the shoulder. "I'll live."

"Sen-sational! Now we can paint our nails, and try on clothes, and look at memes-"

"Which reminds me," Ruby cut in. "Wasn't there something wrong I could help you with?"

Penny's smile faded. "Friend Ruby, I would like to create a Basebook account."

Ruby squealed. "Finally! I get to show you the page about kittens I keep telling you about! There's this one that sits there with a giant cheeseburger-"

Penny, however, was looking at the floor, looking crestfallen. "But Ruby, I need your help to make an account. There is a major problem."

"It's easy! I can walk you through it." Ruby leaned over her friend's shoulder. Curiously, all the fields for name, email address, and profile picture were all filled out. "Hmm, you seem to have it all under control. What's wrong- oh… _poop_."

At the bottom of the page, one last checkbox next to a snarl of distorted letters remained unfilled.

" _Type the CAPTCHA to prove you aren't a robot_."

* * *

 _Heh. Penny's a robot._

 _Even better: She's alive._

 _Stay tuned for a part 2 to this!_


	5. Swear Jar

_Obviously, I'm writing this as a little divergence (HA! "Little.") from canon. Here, Yang gets a new arm, Pyrrha and Penny live, etc etc etc. Here's fluff to make you happy._

 _Got the idea from some old episode of Drake and Josh (nostalgia, anyone? When Nick used to be full of good stuff and classic Spongebob?), adding in one of Gavin's remarkably un-British quotes as seen in an RTAA, and the speculation that our Ren, quiet, reposed Ren, is secretly a closet badmouth. Like if you'd give him a car and stick him into rush hour traffic, the interior might become slightly radioactive._

 _As always, Thanks, Monty._

* * *

 _"Thanks for the tea, Nora. I really appreciate it."_

After a long hard day helping Ruby, Neptune, and Pyrrha help Yang out with the final tweaks her new robot arm, and helping to train with it, Ren was quite exhausted.

Especially since Yang's idea of "training" included several unbroken hours of sparring, and with a new cybernetic limb to bash things with... Well, he would hope nobody would discover the suspiciously Neptune-shaped hole in the gym wall for a while.

But now, he had the chance to relax and kick back with his team He smiled as he accepted the steaming mug, slowly easing himself onto his chair whilst raising the mug to his lips-

 _Wait_.

His eyes shot open as he spewed the tea from his mouth in a fountain of scalding liquid.

 _"Nora... I *cough* don't think that was cinnamon!"_

He dashed to the kitchenette, still slightly green with nausea, where a bottle of spice lay unattended next to the hot plate.

'Cumin,' it read.

"Nora... You used... _cumin_?"

" _In my defense they both start with C!_ "

Ren chuckled, in spite of himself, leaning over to ruffle Nora's hair. "Nora, you really should pay more attention to stuff in the future. But I really appreciate the gesture."

Nora beamed, latching herself onto her partner's arm in a loving embrace. "Don't worry, Renny. I _toooootally_ wasn't trying poison you. Not if you keep making such _wonderful_ pancakes!" She slipped off his arm and disappeared around the corner with a smirk.

"But how did you get the spice from the cupboard? The stool is really wobbly and you usually need me to hold it steady," he said, glancing towards a rickety wooden chair.

"I have my ways." Nora poked her head around the corner with a sly smile before disappearing once again.

"I'm sure you do." With that, Ren pulled the stool close and climbed atop it, preparing to store the bottle of cumin on the spice rack-

-when suddenly, a leg snapped, sending him careening to the ground as the bottle tumbled out of his grasp.

Ever ready for crisis, Ren landed safely on all fours. However, his spice was significantly less graceful, as he was forced to watch it tumble end over end into the ground, sending glittering shards flying about in a sandstorm of flavor.

 **" _OH, FUCK A DUCK!_ "**

The words tumbled from his mouth as he stared at the wreckage, faster than his brain could process that _no, Ren, you were not supposed to say that. Ever._

Laughter erupted from the dorm, as Nora bounded into the kitchen to see what happened.

"I think you broke Pyrrha with that," she chuckled. "Nobody's ever heard you swear like that before but me. Naughty naughty," she tutted.

And indeed, Ren poked his head out of the kitchenette to see Jaune and Pyrrha doubled over in laughter.

"You know what that means, Renny. Pay up." Nora skipped over to her bed, pulled a coin-filled jar out from underneath, and hopped back over to him.

" _Ugh... fine..._ " From his sleeves Ren produced a small coin purse, opening it up and emptying its contents into the jar.

"Y'know," Jaune began, "I don't know what's weirder, the fact that Ren just swore, or the fact that you have a swear jar from him that's that jam packed."

Nora giggled, gesturing over to her partner, who had collapsed into a chair and covered his face in embarrassment. "You don't wanna hear him. And plus, it's not the swear jar, silly! It's the 'sin tin' and he's gotta pay up every time he's been naughty!"

" _Yes yes,"_ Ren muttered. "I'll watch my mouth from now on, ok?"

"Good!" Nora smiled at him, poking him playfully on the nose with a cheerful 'boop!' "The First National Bank of Nora appreciates your generous donation!"

Watching this whole exchange with amusement, Jaune looked over at the couple and their shenanigans, soaking up the weirdness that always followed them at every turn.

Until a thought crossed his mind. Turning to Nora, he quipped up again, a devilish grin spreading across his face.

"So...I'm guessing he made quite the generous donation last night, eh Nora?"

"..."

 _"..."_

 _"..."_

 _"...DAMMIT, JAUNE!"_


	6. Merry Christmas, Renny

_Yes yes, I know it's not Christmas, but talking to people who tend to corrupt you will plant ideas in your head. (You know who you are.)_

 _Ideas which you will write instantly even though your other projects beckon or have been suffering under the cruel thumb of writer's block._

 _But alas._

 _Merry "Christmas," everyone._

 _And as usual, Thanks, Monty._

* * *

"Merry Christmas Renny!"

"Nora? What are you doing lying under the tree? And why aren't-"

Crossing into the room, Ren's eyes played across the room, over the Christmas decorations, and down to under the tree, where his partner lay, with naught but a fluffy holiday hat and a sprig of mistletoe to complete the 'festive scene,' as she would have called it.

"I'm your present this year!"

"...how did you manage to get Jaune and Pyrrha out of the room?" Ren covered his mouth to (unsuccessfully) stifle a laugh, his hand however doing nothing to hide the color flooding into his cheeks.

"Well they're on the roof… again. _Training,_ " she added, with a smirk. "They haven't the slightest clue what's happening here."

" _Do they want to?"_

"They don't need to, Renny," she smirked. "It's all just for you."

"But you do realize Jaune could have opened the door and seen you like-"

Just then, the door opened, revealing their aforementioned teammate, whose expression instantly melted from nonchalance to pure mortification as he tumbled backwards, slamming the door behind him as he bolted off to a place where he could cleanse his mind of certain sights.

"... _that_..."

"Oopsie!"

"Nora, it seems as if you just broke his mind. Just listen, you can still hear him screaming."

"Well, it was totally worth it!" The laughter faded from her face, only to be replaced with a lazy smile. "But hey, you know naughty boys usually get coal in their stockings for Christmas, but hey, isn't this a much better alternative? You should be thanking me for being so generous… _Renny._ "

" _I suppose."_ Ren moved to join his partner under the tree, poking her playfully on the nose. "And Nora?"

"Yep?"

"I think you'll be glad to know that I decided to be extra generous this Christmas for someone else too."

"Oh really? How?"

" _Well… I think it starts with me doing this…"_

* * *

"And it ends with me doing this."

Wreathed in a majestically billowing cloud of steam, Ren marched out of the kitchen, a fresh platter of pancakes in hand. Nora squealed with delight, leaping towards Ren and throwing her arms around him.

"Aww Renny, when you said you were gonna be extra extra generous you weren't kidding! First there was all that stuff earlier and now there's pancakes and now there's syrup and sugar and strawberries and ohmigoshImjustsoexcitednowbecauseyouretheabsolutebestand-"

"…Nora….?"

"Hmm?" She looked up at her partner, her eyes gleaming with delight.

"You made me drop the pancakes."

Looking down, she did see that indeed, the once neat platter of pancakes was scattered across the floor.

But then again, Nora Valkyrie was never one to be deterred by such petty things as dirt and germs.

"THREE SECOND RULE!" Nora swooped down upon the fallen flapjacks like a bird of prey, instantly devouring her fair share, and plucking one up to place directly on Ren's head like a strange floppy beret.

"…that was twelve seconds…"

"Oh well. Twelve second rule then," she trilled. "Ready for round two of super-duper flapjack time?" She grinned gaily at him, a sharp contrast to his absolutely bemused expression.

"…Nora?"

" _Hmm?_ "

"That actually was the last of the flour."

"But-but- _but_ -"

And it was at that moment that unbeknownst to them, their door began to creak slowly open.

"Nora, I can't do round two with absolutely nothing," Ren continued, completely oblivious to the two figures tentatively pushing the door open.

"But whyyyyyyy? You know I need a round two _sooooooo_ badly!"

"I really wish I could, Nora."

"Not even if I did this?" She leaned forward to take hold of him, pulling him closer with a lazy-eyed smile, ever so closer and standing on her tip-toes to softly land a kiss on his lips.

" _Would this convince you to get round two ready for me?_ "

"You always know what to do, don't you, Nora? Just give me a minute to get some more stuff for it." He looked down at Nora with a smirk, only temporarily breaking eye contact with her to brush his lips against her forehead." I am pretty hungry, after all-"

" ** _HBLAARGH_** -"

The two jumped in surprise as their heads turned towards the door, where a very green Jaune Arc had vomited profusely, staggering backwards out of the room, followed by an extremely pale Pyrrha Nikos, who had shot them an absolutely horrified look before slamming the door behind them.

"…what was all that about?"

"I don't know, Renny. I don't think that round two of pancakes is something to be worth getting _THAT_ worked up about. _Psst, Ren, I think they may be secretly pancake hating space aliens!"_

"…I don't think they heard the whole conversation, just the whole 'round two' part..."

"Round two?" Nora looked absolutely befuddled. "What's there to be scared with about a second round of _waaaaaaaaitaminute_ -"

"Hmm?"

"I TOTALLY get it now! Oh man I think it might really be super sucky to be Jaune and Pyrrha now, we probably just snapped their brains like toothpicks! That's gotta be the worst team Christmas present ever... And... uh...hmm..."

"I do wonder how we're going to explain all this to them," Ren added. "What do you think we should tell them? Nora? Hey, you there?" He poked her gently on the nose, to which she grinned and playfully snapped at.

"I'm here... I'm just thinking of what happens next..." Her thoughtful expression merged into something else as she spoke; something... _different._

"Ah, I see. I guess we should take them out for dinner or bake them a cake to say sorry- hey! Nora? What are you doing?"

"As of now?" She chortled, moving ever closer to her partner.

" _You."_

* * *

 _Smooth Nora is smooth._

 _And Merry Christmas, y'all's. 291 more days left! Get yer decorations up!_

 _i-Pie_


	7. Welcome to Shisno World

_Ah, memes, RvB references, overly dramatic stories, and Renora. What could go wrong?_

 _As usual, thanks, Monty._

* * *

A brand new sunny day in Vale was a welcome sight after half the day yesterday of rain and a tedious nighttime drive past countless fields of corn. Finally, team JNPR's patience had paid off, as a sign to the right read in bright reflective letters that glinted in the morning sunlight: **_Shisno World: 10 KM_**.

Pyrrha turned in the driver's seat towards Jaune, seated beside her and snoozing away with his face smashed against the window, poking him lightly on the shoulder. She giggled when he awoke with a start, looking around groggily, his eyes finally lighting up as his gaze settled on the gigantic castle flanked by fairgrounds and rides across the bay.

"Hi there sleepyhead, just a little bit until we're there!"

"Wowww... _Shisno World, that's really it!_ Ya think Dolan and Gooby will be there by the front gates and all?"

"I sure hope so; you and Ren and Nora have gone on forever about seeing them. Speaking of which-" she gestured to the happy couple in the backseat, happily snoring away in each other's' arms. "-can you tell them we're almost here?"

"Sure." Jaune turned back around to softly shake Nora awake, watching her eyes flutter open, then closed again as she shifted and snuggled closer to her partner.

"Come on, wake up, we're almost to Shisno World! There's gonna be Dolan and Gooby and all the-"

" _Mmmmmm. Shisno World._ " Nora sighed happily, still happily off somewhere in her own little dream bubble.

"Welp, I tried. It just seem like _some people_ are too _lame_ to wake up to enjoy quality entertainment." He leaned over to nudge Pyrrha with a smirk, raising his voice slightly to try and rouse Ren and Nora's attention. " _I_ for one want to ride Flash Mountain first; what about you, Pyrrha?"

"Hmmmm... The Gumbo ride sounds exciting." She turned to Jaune, returning the smirk as she too raised her voice slightly. "I wonder what Nora wants to ride first."

 _"...hbhmmm... this one..."_

"Come again?" Jaune turned back around again, clearly not expecting a response.

"...this one..." With that, Nora slowly raised her hand, tapping Ren softly with a finger.

"What'd she point to?" Pyrrha quipped up.

"She pointed to Ren."

"Huh..." Pyrrha looked absolutely bemused. "What for?"

"I dunno. She can't just ride him like a OHHHH-

* * *

"Mmmmmmhgmhmhph. Hey Renny, wake up! I think we're here! But wait... Why are we still on the highway? Why's Jaune throwing up outside? Did he eat something weird again? I told him not to eat those pancakes, it was late anyway and I kinda wanted them anyway and it kinda serves him right for leaving me pancakeless. And waaaait... Did Pyrrha fall asleep again at the wheel? It looks like we crashed... That's weird, right Renny? _Oh look, here she comes, she looks like she's seen a ghost!_

* * *

 _What y'all's do in your spare time, please don't break poor Jaune's mind with it...Nora..._

 _These kids are all a mess and I love them so much,_

 _i-Pie_


	8. Movie Night

_Shameless Don writes shameless fluff. Shamelessly._

 _Well what can I say? I love JNPR fluff._

 _But why is it, the week after my spring break, which has been near devoid of ideas, has offered me so many new ideas when I barely have enough time to do them? Gaaaah. I have no less than 5 separate ideas bouncing around my brain today. Wheeee._

 _Alas… the only thing that stops us from doing the really cool things is time._

 _As usual, thank you, Monty._

* * *

Ren was no stranger to late night movie marathons with JNPR. That was why in accordance of his spirit of always being prepared, he had brewed himself a decently large mug of tea. It would keep him up and going for a bit longer than he would have liked, but alas, to provoke the wrath of Nora Valkyrie the following morning was unwise, to say the least.

He wondered _why_ most of his "consequences" for falling asleep during movie nights absolutely had to involve the forcible annexation of his breakfast, though. Specifically the pancakes.

So with one hand balancing his mug and the other around his partner, Ren sat back and relaxed, waiting for _X Ray and Vav vs Mark Nutt_ to begin… That is, if Jaune and Pyrrha could actually find their tape of it, as opposed to chasing each other around the room with pillows raised and ready to battle.

Ren sighed, half resigned, half amused. Ever since the pairings of team JNPR had finally become pairings in the relationship sense, morale had shot to an all-time high. Jaune had stopped being absolutely dense, to Pyrrha's delight, Nora had gotten her Renny, and as for him?

He was all right with it.

More than all right, as a matter of fact.

But then again, a couple of couples sharing the same dorm room had its oddities, Ren mused as Jaune darted by before him, laughing as he tried to escape from a giggling Pyrrha. There was this, there was that, there was stuff like the "incident" over Christmas…

Well, on the bright side, it only took about a week that time for Jaune to finally begin speaking again.

All in all, couple stuff was good, it boosted morale and added some well-deserved spice to the soup of their lives, but he had returned from the kitchen with his tea at around 7:45…

And here, at 8:26, Pyrrha had taken to pulling Jaune closer to her with her Semblance in order to get in a couple good whacks with her pillow. An unfair advantage, really, if you asked him.

He did wonder when movie night would start, If it would start at all.

But all in all, he didn't really mind. He had the girl he loved besides him. He definitely could wait a little longer.

He definitely didn't mind.

* * *

 _This is one of those stories that might rack up a part two. Who knows?_

 _Stay tuned!_

 _i-Meatpie_


	9. Sunday Punday

_This pun begged to be made._

 _That is all._

 _As usual, Thanks, Monty._

* * *

Another Sunday had come and gone at Beacon. Ruby was tinkering with Crescent Rose, Weiss was seated at her desk, working on an assignment, Blake was curled up on her bed with a book, and Yang...

The huntress was splayed out on the floor, having just gotten back from sparring practice.

And as usual, she was bored.

"Hey guys..." she began. "Question."

Weiss turned to her with a frown. "If you're gonna make another one of your puns I swear I'm gonna-"

"No no no no. It's just a hypothetical question I wanna ask."

"... _proceed_ ," the heiress huffed.

"So... If I ended up buying some weed from CFVY and started using it..."

Her eyes narrowed as a lazy smirk crept across her face.

"Would I be known as... _Yang Xiao Bong_?"

She ducked as she was hit simultaneously by a textbook, a bottle of weapons oil, and Book 6 of Ninjas of Love.

* * *

 _Has anyone seen the RWBY Chibi trailer? WATCH IT._

 _i-Pie_


	10. Electric Boop

_Well, Nora's semblance of electricity has the potential for a bunch of things happening. Including inadvertently charging up her signature attack: Boop._

 _Thank you to Claraowl for the brainstorming session and the ideas. You deserve pancakes. Lots of pancakes. Delivered by owls. (I also referenced one of her fics in here too:_ Mistletoe Doesn't Count. _Read it. It's excellent._ )

 _As always, Thanks, Monty._

* * *

It had been a long standing prank war between the two; starting from the time Nora had stretched plastic wrap across the door frame and watched with unsuppressed giggles as Ren had walked smack into it. The two had gladly escalated their efforts from there, culminating yesterday in a strange twist of fate; instead of pranking each other, they decided to play the long con on their friends; pretending to be 'together-together' to confuse everybody. Fate had not finished with them that day; they started it as the best of friends, and ended it as more.

The excitement of yesterday had not dulled certain thoughts from Ren's mind. After about 5 months of consecutive jokes, one tended to retain a predilection towards petty pranking.

That day had ended with the new couple snuggling in front of the space heater after a protracted battle in the snow with Jaune and Pyrrha. It was a good outing, but Ren knew his day with Nora wouldn't be complete without the little prank.

He gave Nora a squeeze before getting up and shuffling towards the kitchen to make cocoa for Nora and tea for himself, making sure to drag his socks across the carpet to build up some charge. After heating up some water, he shambled back, still building up charge, and bent down to give Nora an electric boop on the nose. She squeaked and jerked backwards a little, before looking back up at Ren with a… an evil smile?

Nora leapt up out of the cozy cocoon of blankets, raising a hand to boop him playfully back on the nose.

 _Oh silly me,_ he mused, as he flew backwards through the air, propelled by a large blast of electricity.

 _Her semblance is electricity… I should have known. You win this round, Nora._

* * *

Blake was sure on that day that she had to cut down on the catnip when she saw Ren blasting backwards out of a hole in the wall and careening across the hallway.


	11. Electric Boop Part 2

_In which Nora has a pretty powerful Semblance, which also works passively. In living with it for a while, Ren has gotten quite used to it. More unforeseen consequences of the electric boop; a sequel of the previous chapter, if you will._

 _Another great idea created with Claraowl. Mad props._

 _As usual, Thanks, Monty._

* * *

After a long day, Ren always found it nice to sit back in his chair, pull out his Scroll, and fetch the latest episode of _X-Ray and Vav_. He smiled as he saw the two cartoon heroes shimmy across the screen to face their latest enemy: Horse Puncher 3000.

Something moved beyond the transparent screen of his device. Ren's smile only grew when he saw Nora bounding happily across the room over to him, leaning down to kiss him lightly on the nose, before skipping away with a cheerful cry of ' _boop!'_

He never was sure whether the electric feeling on his nose was a tickle of electricity from Nora shuffling across the carpet, some aftereffect of her semblance, or something more. Maybe even all of them. Ren loved it.

But… he _was_ sure of one thing: that the wonderful little electric feeling he felt was the cause of his Scroll beeping and displaying 'high voltage alert' on the screen before shutting down with a poof of acrid smoke.

* * *

 _I realize I haven't done anything big in quite a while. Y'all's are gonna get something big decently soon, on the caliber of "_ A Whole Latke Shaking Going On." _It'll be big. It'll be syrupy. It will be happy Renora, Arkos, AND Nuts and Dolts. Where everyone is alive and undismembered except for Cinder and *shudders* Adam. I detest the guy._

 _i-Pie_


	12. The Way You Make Me Feel

_In which Penny picks up on social cues... in all the wrong ways. But at least, here, in fanfic, we can imagine a scenario where Penny and Pyrrha live and everything goes back to normal at Beacon, and Penny gets her plan all set._

 _Yeah, I'm still in denial._

 _As always, thanks, Monty. And thanks to Claraowl for the fic spazzes!_

* * *

Ruby Rose was no mechanic.

Sure, she made Crescent Rose, sure, she made routine repairs to the team's weapons and Yang's arm for time, and sure, she had managed to implement a shotgun into Jaune's sword.

But Penny?

Repairing the broken android was a completely different matter. Ruby had managed, however, and after about a month of plenty of coffee and cookies, Penny had come back to life and thrown herself happily into an overjoyed Ruby's arms.

The road to full recovery, however, was quite bumpy to say the least. There were times where Penny had activated in the morning spouting fluent Spanish, there was the one time where her arm detached in the middle of class (to Weiss's horror), and there was the small detail of Ruby not being able to find an alternate power source, so, team RWBY simply settled for plugging Penny into the wall every night with an extension cord.

Otherwise, Penny's integration into Beacon had gone swimmingly; she had received top marks in every class, made fast friends with JNPR, and although social interaction wasn't her strong suite, she had improved.

It _was_ hard to pick up on acceptable social cues with Yang Xiao Long as a team member, however.

The huntress' devil-may-care demeanor often earned her pillows to the face, courtesy of Weiss alternated with scowling looks as she covered Penny's ears whilst distracting Ruby with some cookies.

Alas, Weiss wasn't always the fastest with her attempts at censorship.

And now, Yang was watching and teasing Ruby as she went through the morning ritual of unplugging Penny and initiating her startup cycle.

The robotic girl clicked and whirred as she came to life, wrapping her arms around her friend in a tight embrace.

"Salutations, friend Ruby, and an excellent morning to you!" Penny chirped. "And may I say, getting to see you every morning really turns me on!"

Yang toppled to the floor, wheezing with laughter as Weiss and Blake shot her horrified looks.

* * *

 _Yang has no mouth filter, confirmed. Blake, get your girlfriend under control. Please?_

 _i-Pie_


	13. Times Thankfully Bygone

_I feel like we're gonna find out where Ren and Nora came from. And I think we're all gonna cry._

 _They've grown up together in such unknown circumstances, and I think it's headcanoned far and wide that they came from a village, with some sort of cataclysm that happened to cast them forward on the seas of life alone. Sure, assuming volume 3 never happened and everyone's happy (except Cinder and Adam and the rest of them freaks), such tragedy doesn't leave one so easily._

 _Then again, it was never said you had to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune alone._

 _As always, Thank you, Monty._

* * *

The courtyard lay quiet, muffled by snow and the silence of the gray specks that dotted it, students and teachers in their dull grey Beacon cloaks milling back and forth to wherever they may. Occasionally one would break from the rest and pause, their eyes flitting over the cliff edge, playing across the horizon that stretched infinitely off into monochrome eternity.

Amidst the landscape of gentle grays and whites, atop a bench bleached by the flakes falling from above fluttered a cloth of pink that refused to change, forbidding the elements from sapping the warmth from the two figures it shrouded, protected, kept warm and drew together.

Past the cobblestones and safety fences lay the crimson forests of Forever Fall, its vibrancy asleep under a neat quilt of snow. Even the Grimm seemed to be sleeping; not a single tree shook, nor tufts of snow, flitting upwards away from massive paws. From under her vibrant pink traveling cloak, in which she and Ren were comfortably swathed, she could peer over the cliffs at the restful expanse, stretching from the waves that pawed halfheartedly at the rocks below, to the shore across where the sand ended and the trees begun, white melding into gray into white again, trees that cast a paltry shadow across their roots.

And long ago, such trees would have towered above them, flashes of black and red cutting through the shades and sending coldness crashing down upon their frail bodies.

Nora closed her eyes, watching sights of the past slice through her mind, the redness marring the virgin snow, the stumble and stagger into the darkness where red and black became one, dark decals on a gray backdrop, as branches beckoned like evil fingers, the two children, hurt, alone, fading flowers in a snarl of trees and twilight.

She stirred, a strange saltiness trailing down her cheeks as she inched closer to the other beside her, the other blossom plucked from frost and chill, dying, but warmed and revived by the hearth, where embers of friendship and love and safety cast their light into the depths of his soul.

The soft motion across his side brought Ren out of his reverie, a chill spreading through him at the strange shivers that ravaged his companion, stemming not from cold or frost or even ice. Although his eyes remained closed, he could see the waves of fear shaking the air as droplets of salt upon the blanket corrupted it into a darker, more painful shade of pink.

Beneath the blanket, he reached over, his arm snaking gently across Nora's back and over to her side before drawing her close with a gentle squeeze, muffling her shaking body and pouring warmth of every kind into her soul.

And when Nora opened her eyes again, it was not the crimson stains of pain upon the snow, nor tendrils of darkness reaching down from above, but peaceful drifts twirling about her, tumbling over the cliff, gliding through the trees that no longer threatened to swallow them whole, and alighting on a shock of dark hair belonging to her partner nestled against him, his stalwart arm under their cover keeping her safe from the calls of times happily bygone.

* * *

 _These two deserve all the best, and they definitely deserve each other, in whatever capacity; whether you're a Renora shipper like me or whoever you ship them with, you can't deny these two have chemistry; romantic, platonic, whatever. They'll always be friends for life, always there for each other._

 _They both need a big hug. And **NOT**_ _impending death in the season to come. (And tons of happiness in chibi form.)_

 _Thank you for reading:) I devour input like Nora devours R̶e̶n̶ plates of pancakes._

 _-Don_


	14. Epic Meal Time?

_Well, it's been way too long. School, head, and life have kept me away from stuff for way too long, so have some smuff. It might be a while til i write something new again, but for now, enjoy these dorks of JNPR._

 _As always, Thanks, Monty._

 _Watch the new season! It's bloody WONDERFUL; RT is doing a wonderful job on it. Here's hoping Ren and Nora will 1)live and 2) actually get together-together. :3_

* * *

 _"Uuuuuuuuhhhhh..."_

If there was one thing Jaune Arc wasn't known for, it was his stamina. Sure, he grew up in a rough and tumble upbringing, sure, he would go on runs with his sisters and help them with heavy things, sure, he did have a physique that he may or may not have caught Pyrrha side-eyeing when the opportunity presented itself, but compared to her and so many others...

He'd be glad if he never heard the words "bench press" ever again.

Even if those words did ring sweetly from Pyrrha's lips. Come to think of it, she was still training at the gym, toiling away even after their strenuous workout session without even breaking a sweat. Jaune wondered sometimes if she was even human, if she was really some Atlesian android experiment sent to infiltrate society; she really was flawless after all- smart, swift, strong, brave...

 _Pretty_...

Whatever thoughts he had of Pyrrha were quickly quashed as he stopped dead in his tracks, an odd rumble coursing through the floor and vibrating his very core. Jaune paused, his weary head scanning the hallway in search of the mysterious thrum. When his search proved fruitless, he continued on back to their dorm, only for the rumble to sound again, roaring forth loud enough to stop a passing Yang Xiao Long in her tracks.

"Damn Jaune, eat a sandwich or something! You sound louder than Blake when she's in-"

Whatever Yang could say could permanently wait, as at that moment a book flew from around the corner and connected with her face with a solid **thwap** , spurring her to run off towards the (very angry and loudly hissing) source.

Um.

Yeah, that was definitely weird. Maybe he was way too tired after all, what with the strange rumble, Yang being weird, and-

 ***grrrrrrlllrlrlrlrrrrrr***

 _Oh._

 _Yeah._

 _Right._

 _That would be my stomach._

In addition to being dead tired, Jaune Arc was damned _hungry_.

He didn't have the energy to stagger up to the dining hall, nor did he have enough change in his pocket to get one of those Pumpkin Pete cereal bars from the vending machine. His best bet at this point was hoping Nora hadn't touched his stash of protein bars under his bed, or that Ren would be making her pancakes or something. And if those prospects proved to be unattainable, well, at least he had a nice warm shower and a plump, cushy bed to flump down onto.

His eyes shot open up suddenly as he walked the final stretch of hall towards the dorm. It did look as if Ren had made pancakes after all; an empty bottle of syrup lay haphazardly on the ground in their floor's kitchenette (Ren would have to use the communal kitchenette since their own stove had fizzled out that week- no Nora, cooking pancakes with Burn Dust was not only a fire hazard, it also would not achieve that extra spicy flavor you were looking for, and was probably lethal to boot), marking the end of a trail of syrup dribbles that snaked around the corner and wound its way under their door.

Nora really was a messy eater...

Jaune fumbled for a second with his Scroll, pressing it to the door reader and letting it swing open, revealing Ren and Nora inside, just as he had expected. However, as quickly as he had stepped in, Jaune backed out, swinging the door shut as stealthily as he could muster. Yes, he was right; they were eating; but here, Ren's idea of a "gourmet meal" wasn't particularly his cup of tea.

Too lewd, Jaune muttered to himself, before slouching off to the library with a shudder, as the "gourmet meal" let out a long satisfied sigh that sent a shudder coursing up his spine. There were plenty of cushy chairs there where he could get some sleep and cleanse his brain from the sight of the ***ahem*** feast back in the dorm.

 _Meh. I'm not hungry anyway._


End file.
